I’m not sure if anyone has noticed but I haven’t posted a blog in a while. I planned to post one about balloons on my birthday over a month ago at this point… but once my birthday passed, I no longer felt inspired. My birthday also involved balloons, so it felt wrong to post about my aversion to them. I didn’t want to make anyone in my life feel like I didn’t appreciate the balloons they gave me on my birthday.
I first thought of the idea for that blog post two weeks before my birthday when I happened upon a random documentary about sustainability. They were talking about how the trash in the ocean is actually more spread out than you’d imagine. The currents just help it to build up in certain areas. I’m not even sure that makes sense, but that’s not the point…
They brought up the topic of balloons because there was this one area where they’d come across a lot of them, but this area was also full of turtles searching for jellyfish on the surface of the water. Some of these turtles would see these balloons on the surface of the water, and thinking they were jellyfish… eat them. Hearing the impact each single-use balloon I’ve used in my lifetime may have had on the life of an innocent turtle brought me to tears. In that moment I never wanted to use a balloon ever again.
When I brought this up to my mom in conversation, I found out she already had balloons purchased for my birthday coming up. I kind of felt bad in that moment because she was trying to do something special for me, and my concern for how these balloons could impact a turtle in the future probably made her feel like she did something wrong or like I didn’t appreciate it.
Since she already had the balloons, I said this could just be the last time we intentionally use them. Like I said in my first blog post, we all have to start somewhere. I also realized that it would be a nice addition to that blog post I planned on writing… to share that no one is perfect when it comes to sustainability!
There is only so much we can control.
We don’t know when someone is going to thoughtfully surprise us with balloons. We can’t expect everyone to be aware of the negative impact of said balloons. On the surface, balloons seem harmless. Not everyone watches random documentaries about sustainability where they learn about the negative impact balloons may have on turtles…
The same goes for so many things in this life, like this blog for example. We created this space to share the things that are important to us in hopes that our words may impact others. I have no control over how people will react to my blog posts. All I can do is write them as genuinely as I possibly can and put them out into the world!
This is something I struggle with. It is the main reason why I've been so inconsistent with posting. I’ve just always been focused so much on what other people think of me. So much so that it has kept me from pursuing things. It’s honestly hard to even know what your dreams are when you are so hyper-focused on what others may think of you. This blog is almost like exposure therapy. It's hard for me to use my voice, because I'm not sure I believe that I have important things to say. But sharing my thoughts in these posts is a step in the right direction.
We have no control over the opinions of others, so why do we (I) spend so much time worrying about them?? I know it's easier said than done, but let's try to focus on the things we do have control over.
I was hesitant to post that blog on my birthday for a couple of reasons. Like I said previously, I didn’t want anyone in my life thinking I didn’t appreciate the balloons they gave me. And I didn't want to make anyone feel bad for using balloons. But I have no control over those things.
I can control my words. I have no intention of making anyone feel bad for the choices they make, but I do get worried that what I say is going to come off wrong. But I have no control over someone else's feelings.
That's hard for me to even write, because I'm not sure I believe that statement myself... that I have no control over someone else's feelings. I guess I tend to think I have more control over things than I do. My actions and words do have the potential to hurt others, which worries me. But I can't let the fear of other people having feelings keep me from using my voice.
For some reason, it felt like that post would be controversial. Balloons feel just as essential to any celebration as cake does. They feel necessary. Like balloons show you where the party is... some people even send balloons into the sky in memory of loved one's passing, and I don’t want something I write to take away from that. That's a beautiful thing to witness and I don't really know what you could replace balloons with in that instance.
But the purpose of our blog is just to have a place where we can start conversations and share what’s important to us! With this post on balloons, I had the intention of spreading awareness for something that many people may not even think about. It’s easy to be ignorant when we aren't directly impacted by something. I knew balloons weren't great for the environment, but I didn’t know that they had the potential to kill turtles until I came across this documentary. They started a conversation that I wanted to continue.
I decided to make a change because I became aware of something that I could control. I can't control what others chose to do with this information, but I can chose to share it.
There is no sense in worrying about what I have no control over. I'm better off when I focus on what I can control, which I know is easier said than done. It's easy to put things off when all you do is worry about the way people will respond. And it takes the fun out of whatever it is you want to do.
I want to enjoy the creative process with this blog, not be worried about what people may think about my writing. Whatever you do in this life, please just let yourself enjoy it!
- Lindsay :)
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